I'm skeptical about counselling

We live within a culture that puts great value on independence and self-sufficiency. The "stiff upper lip" and the "pull yourself together" attitudes are still quite prevalent and anything perceived as dependency is often considered weakness and a threat to modern identities. In this context it may be difficult to acknowledge emotional needs and to allow ourselves to believe that we may benefit from help of others. Many chose to struggle along on their own and may try to bury their needs by putting excessive hours into work, focusing on dieting as a way to feel better or by employing other distracting behaviours. I believe counselling can be a more effective way to deal with many of life's difficulties and create a more satisfying life for oneself.

How long does counselling take?

The number of sessions is something we agree between us.  I work short, medium and long term. Short term work can be very helpful in coming through an immediate crisis or dealing with a specific problem.  Longer term work is a more in-depth and open-ended process.

You are always free to leave when you feel ready. At the same time it is helpful for us to agree mutually in advance when the counselling will end so that we have time to review the work and help you plan how you will support yourself to maintain the changes you have been working on.  

How do I know if you are the right counsellor for me?

The initial meeting gives you the opportunity to meet me, ask any questions you may have, experience how you feel in my company and either decide to make a further appointment to start counselling or go away to think about it.  

Making the commitment to enter counselling is a big decision which people often think about for a long time before they decide to act. Trust your instincts.  It is more important to find someone you feel you can trust than someone who is an expert in a particular field. You may have to meet more than one person before finding the right match.

It is important to choose a counsellor who is experienced, works to a professional code of practice, receives clinical supervision, has regular training to keep professionally up-to-date and whose training is approved by a recognised counselling organisation.    I fit all those criteria. 

Questions you could ask before you chose a counsellor or psychotherapist:

• What are your qualifications?
• Which professional body do you belong to?
• Which Code of Ethics do you follow?
• Do you have a qualified supervisor to discuss your work with?
• Is there a complaints procedure?
• Do you have professional insurance?
• For how many years have you been practising?
• How long is a session?
• How often are sessions held?
• What do you charge?
• Is there a cancellation fee?
• Is it a totally confidential service?
• When might confidentiality be broken?
• Have you been in therapy yourself?
• How long might the therapy last for?
• How does therapy end?

What’s the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?

Generally Counselling is understood to be concerned with a specific problem or area in your life you may be finding difficult.
Psychotherapy is usually longer term work to deal with more deep seated problems or aim to developing personal insight, awareness and self-knowledge.
There are overlaps between the two terms and there is no agreed definition of the difference.  On this website I use the words interchangeably.

What is Humanistic Psychotherapy?

My theoretical background is in Humanistic Psychotherapy.  The humanistic approach sees the human being as innately striving towards health.  It is a respectful style of therapy.  The therapist enters into a unique relationship with an equal adult person, not a 'patient' suffering symptoms of a 'condition' for which there is a prescribed 'cure'.  The therapist interacts with the person with a focus on what is the client’s experience in thoughts, emotions and bodily. 
I integrate aspects of other approaches in my work e.g. Gestalt and bodywork.

Other questions